Oh good, you made it here.

23/gay/cis/tired. Made this so I don't have to tiptoe around the fuckin' internet. Here's an exhaustive list of truths so you don't have to waste energy calling me slurs.

About

The Community:
It's the "LGBT" community. Not the LGBTQ community. Not the LGBTQIA community. Not the LGBT+ community, and definitely not the MOGAI community. It was formed by gay and trans people for survival, not for inclusion. And yes, this means I am exclusionist.

If you're not gay, bi, or trans, you are straight and cis. Everything from pansexual and demisexual downward is either the same thing as one of those, or entirely invented for the purpose of elbowing into LGBT spaces.

You do not get to speak over actual LGBT people when deciding who gets welcomed into their spaces, and if you think you should get to share community space with people whose struggles are nothing like yours, you're an idiot.

Gay/Bi/Lesbian Issues
Include lesbians and their flag or perish.

Stop making fifty fucking new flags every time someone coins a new micro-identity, for fuck's sake, stop cannibalizing one of our most poignant symbols.

Stop characterizing bisexual people as super deviant and open and kinky, those aren't the same things.

Stop hating on gay men for literally any half-baked reason you can find and slapping the word "white" or "cis" on there like a band-aid, like jeez how many poc and trans gays have to tell you you're just being a homophobe and hurting everyone before it penetrates?

Trans Issues
I guess you could call me a truscum or whatever the hell it is these days. Most everything I know and understand about the trans community comes from listening to trans people, and while I may not have the expertise that I do on being gay, I know that boiling dysphoria down to "being miserable" is not a definition any dysphoric person would appreciate.

A lot of you really really REALLY want to sterilize the "sex" out of "sexuality" and you can't. That's not how that works and repeating ad infinitum how transphobic it is doesn't make it true. Who I'm attracted to has fuck-all to do with their gender and you don't get to call me a bigot over it. It doesn't make you ugly or unfuckable to be trans, it just means gay and straight people aren't into you.

If you insist on characterizing gay people who aren't attracted to you as transphobes, you're going to meet a shit ton of gay people--including trans ones--who had no idea they were raging transphobes. I understand the self-hatred that comes with realizing most people are unavailable to you by default--but the twisting of sexuality to be trans-inclusive across the board is an exercise in homophobia and entitlement.

I'm not gonna call y ou a secret bisexual or "not really gay" if you are gay and ARE attracted to trans people--but you need to respect that I'm not. Evidently, my gay and your gay work very differently, and I promise to respect yours if only you'll respect mine.

I don't support neo-pronouns. That's a whole lot of effort for something that is just never going to work. And while we're at it, the proper term is "latine" not "latinx".

Split Attraction Model
I support the complete abolition of the split attraction model. It is completely useless for defining attraction in anybody but asexual people, and even it's not that great at it. You are either gay or you are ace. You are either bi or you are a lesbian. As long as you keep the SAM in place, idiotic discourse like this is going to continue emerging.

Slurs
Do NOT call me "queer".
Stop using queer academically. Stop using queer to refer to dead (especially murdered!) LGBT people. Stop using queer to refer to LGBT people who have not explicitly consented to it--and actually, just stop using it altogether.

(We are specifying pre-op or never-op trans people here, because if someone's had their surgery and you still want to reject them, yeah, you probably are a transphobe).

Most people who discuss the q slur take the tack that you can reclaim it for yourself if you like, just to not apply it to them. I don't. I want this word out of our spaces, out of academia, and out of my hearing range. You cannot reclaim a slur on an individual basis, and the very idea that you can is ridiculous. Reclamation is a community effort and our community is still attacked using that word.

The use of this word has become fetishistic. People use it even when they know the relevant LGBT identity, even when they can avoid it, even when there is literally no reason to. Stop doing that.

And for fuck's sake don't give me any bullshit about how "gay is a slur too" or "queer was reclaimed 30 years ago" I've seen everything you poorly-researched cretins can find and it's bullshit.

And for that matter, don't call me "fag" either.

"Shipping"
I cannot believe this is actually a stance I have to put here.

There is no such thing as an "anti-shipper". There are anti-incest, anti-pedophile, anti-rape and anti-abuse fans. And all of them are lovely and have huge meat. "Pro-shipper" is a term created specifically to muddy the waters and make it harder to discern the true issue. Ergo, if you are a "pro-shipper", I hate you and you need to re-evaluate your life choices.

Safe spaces
If you slut-shame gay men at Pride parades for dressing provocatively or expressing their sexuality, I hate you. If you slut-shame gay men at Pride for imagined public sex acts you probably are confusing with Folsom and the like, not only do I hate you, but you're a moron. This is one of our only spaces to freely enjoy our sexuality, and Pride was started specifically by LGBT people tired of having their sexual lives invaded by police--sex workers were very much involved.

You cannot separate Pride from sexuality--and this means kids, for whatever concerns you have for them, should not be there. Gay and trans kids should get to have clubs and community centers they can freely figure themselves out in before they go to Pride. Pride has always been sexual on some level, and you can love and respect gay/trans youth while also keeping them safe AND not infringing on safe spaces for sexual expression--yes, all three in one, it's true!

Oh, and do NOT let me catch you trying to frame your slut-shaming of gay men as some lament that Pride has had its "riot roots" or "political significance" taken out of it, you don't get to tell us that we're doing our own protests wrong.

Abortion
I support abortion if, and only if, the pro-choice in question is the choice between the mom's life and the kid's. You have the right to make that choice. I don't think using the (oft-exaggerated) state of the adoption system (in America) makes for a good nuke to all anti-abortion arguments ever and you should probably cut back on that, lest you stigmatize adoption more than it already is.

Contact

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